Doctors permission

Frozen in the darkness silence peacefully shrouds me
Hoping that I am breathless, praying he wont see
This sublime sorrow I am gasping in the pain
Swallowing bitter tears seconds from insane
Defining the emotion each and every time
Trying not to echo, balancing on the line
Silence is a killer but not my reason to die
Hearing in this deafness will always make me cry
The shadows over take me, speak the unspoken curse
Just as well I am dying can’t bear to smell this hearse
Weighed down by lost tomorrows my memory finally broke
Why is it always my own hands gripped to make me choke?
His hug comforts my stomach blindly in his sleep
Not knowing in this darkness my eyes can’t help but weep
Obscurity plays around me tries to steal my breath
Every time I close my eyes I know I’m close to death
Panic underestimates the power the black withholds
Carving me so gently, painless as it moulds
I sweat out my reaction cause words can’t find a voice
Helplessly devoted to lay I have no choice
Everything suffocates cant bear to close my eyes
Repeated optimism as I see how everyone dies
My mind is there to haunt me it never gives me peace
All the pills digested at will, still wont make it cease
Night is a blur now confused by chemical reaction
Convulsions rage as death excels performing its extraction
In the mix I see his face traumatised by my choice, it’s made
But time has gone his actions futile as sight begins to fade
Regret stabs flesh unrepentantly too late to change effect
I know he’ll cry forever at his failure to correct
My selfish, vengeful actions will speak louder than my word
He never seen the suicide…do you think he finally heard?